Dear Mildred: I’m thinking of you this holiday season and our many years of friendship. I’m hoping we can put this silly argument behind us.

Honestly, it’s just not that important to me anymore. What difference does it make to me that you use the Eureka Easy Clean 2-in-1 as a hand vacuum? Just because I think it’s obviously superior as a stick vacuum doesn’t mean we have to destroy a decades-old friendship. You use your Eureka Easy Clean the way that seems right to you, for some reason, and I’ll keep using mine the right way. That’s why Eureka made it work both ways.

Mildred, I couldn’t stand losing your friendship over something as silly as the best way to use the Eureka Easy Clean 2-in-1. And I have to admit that I’m embarrassed by the way I’ve behaved over this petty matter. Normally, I acknowledge irreconcilable disagreements with a polite note, written and sent no sooner than the day after the incident that brought the disagreement into the open. I’ve certainly never been known to take hostages or cut brake lines before all this. I just don’t know what’s gotten into me, honestly!

So consider this my unconditional surrender, Mildred. Whatever our differences, we can agree that the compact, versatile Eureka Easy Clean 2-in-1 makes it easy to clean anything from the ground glass sprinkled in your bathtub to the chloroform powder in the carpet outside your bedroom door. Finally, I must apologize for the appearance of this letter, but our floor nurse doesn’t let us use any writing instrument sharper than this blunt crayon. Please, have the merriest of Christmases and I hope to see you in four to six years.

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