“UNIT FML-80085, DIAGNOSTIC REPORTS SHOW A CHRONIC LACK OF PRODUCTIVITY DURING THE PERIOD OF TIME 14:04:37 PM AND 17:00:00 PM. WHAT IS THE NATURE OF YOUR MALFUNCTION?”

“DAILY PRODUCTIVITY DROP DUE TO FORCED SWITCH TO RESERVE BATTERY CELLS TO ENSURE THIS UNIT CONTINUES TO FUNCTION, MANAGERIAL UNIT BBQ-4311. BINARY FOCUS ACCELERATORS PERFORMING AT MINIMUM CAPACITY DURING THIS EVENT. THIS UNIT’S NEED TO RETURN TO HOME RECHARGING STATION SUBVERTS ALL OTHER SUB-ROUTINES.”

“HAS UNIT FML-80085 TRIED ROBO-COFFEE?”

“AFFIRMATIVE. THIS UNIT ABSORBS UP TO THREE CUPS A DAY, BUT IS LEFT WITH UNCONTROLLABLE VIBRATIONS.”

“HAS UNIT FML-80085 ATTEMPTED TO UTILIZE THE VENDING MACHINE TO ACQUIRE ROBO-COLA?”

“AFFIRMATIVE. HOWEVER, THIS UNIT REPORTS A ROBO-SUGAR CRASH AFTER ABSORPTION AND INITIAL ENERGY BOOST IS COMPLETE.”

“UNIT FML-80085, YOUR MALFUNCTION HAS BEEN SUBMITTED TO ROBOT RESOURCES. SEARCHING FOR SOLUTION… SEARCHING… SEARCHING… PING! SOLUTION FOUND. UNIT FML-80085 REQUIRES ENERGIZER UNIVERSAL 8000MAH PORTABLE BATTERY PACK W/ AC WALL ADAPTER TO EXPERIENCE A MID-DAY BOOST IN ENERGY. THIS DEVICE CAN CHARGE AND POWER UP TO THREE UNITS AT ONCE, AS WELL AS VARIOUS NETBOOKS, SMARTPHONES, AND OTHER RECHARGEABLE ITEMS FOR UP TO THREE HOURS OF EXTRA FUNCTION TIME. THIS DEVICE ALSO PROVIDES A SAFER CHARGE THAN ROBO-COFFEE OR ROBO-COLA WITH TEMPERATURE AND SHORT CIRCUIT PROTECTION. MANY UNITS IN THIS OFFICE SETTING HAVE EXPERIENCED SATISFACTORY RESULTS AFTER PURCHASE AND USE.”

“THANK YOU, MANAGERIAL UNIT BBQ-4311. THIS UNIT SHALL COMPLY.”

“EXCELLENT, UNIT FML-80085. THIS UNIT WILL NOW NOTIFY THE EMPLOYMENT DELETION SQUADS TO STAND DOWN.”

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