“Whatcha whittlin’, Pa?”

“Oh, nothing special. Just that new Emerson TV your Ma’s been asking after.”

“That the one with the 32” LCD screen? And the 720p resolution? Is it, Pa?”

“Yup. One and the same.”

“And the 170-degree viewing angle, Pa? And the built-in ATSC/NTSC tuner?”

“Yup.”

“Wow. Pa?”

“Yup?”

“Ain’t a TV made of, of glass and plastic and what-all? How you figure to make a TV by carving a piece of wood, ‘specially a fancy HDTV?”

“I ain’t seen the job yet that couldn’t get done with a good piece of Kentucky hardwood.”

“But that ain’t the way they do it in Jaypan and Chinee and Injuh and wherever else.”

“You’re forgettin’ the most important ingredient, son: love.”

“Um, OK.”

“I ain’t much for your fancy circuitry and such, but the way I figger, if I just pour all my love into this here slab of wood, why, it’s just bound to turn into an Emerson HDTV sooner or later.”

“Oh.”

“Yup.”

“Pa?”

“Yup?”

“Ain’t that kind of magical Jiminy Cricket thinking part of the reason why the Jaypans and the Chinees and Injuhns are pulling ahead in the race for 21st-century global economic supremacy?”

“Yup. And that’s just the way we like it. Now hush up, boy – I think I smell gremlins.”

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