FROM: Gerard Hardly, CEO, Audio Company To Be Named Later
TO: Nom de Sizzle Naming Consultants, Inc.
RE: Company Identity Project

Hey guys. Got your list of suggestions as to what we should call this little audio firm of mine. Thanks for running with the natural-disaster theme I suggested. Here’s what I think. If anything offends you personally, it was entirely intentional, ha ha.

Hurricane: makes me think of that Scorpions song. I love the Scorpions. But I hate that song. Pass.

Tsunami: too ethnic.

Avalanche: I’m claustrophobic.

Flood: not disastrous enough for me. I mean, what kind of moron dies in a flood? The water’s coming, you idiot! Get out of the way!

Epidemic: what? What does the Plague sound like? I want people to think they’re hearing the Earth trembling, not their kidneys failing.

Earthquake: this would be perfect, but it’s taken already. They’re the ones who make those C-4 speakers I have in my office. Yeah, it’s supposed to be a center channel, but it sounds so great I have 8 of them hooked up together. These things are great, with a bass reflex design with a tuned port. I can’t resist them. Hey, maybe we can set up a subsidiary called Earthquake in some foreign country where they can’t touch us. Have our Shanghai office look into it.

Landslide: we should avoid anything political, especially right now.

Volcano: as a name for the company, I love it. It’s perfect. But my entire family was killed by a volcano, so I just can’t do it. I just can’t. I’m crying as I write this.

Cyclone: I would’ve liked it before I saw that movie the other week, that Battleground Earth. That’s what the villains were called, the Cyclones. So we probably can’t use it for legal reasons. Great movie, by the way.

Dust Storm: Hmmm. Gritty, earthy, real. Loud. Powerful, that’s for sure. And big. Real big. I like it. “Dust Storm Audio” it is! Now that’s exciting! I knew you guys could come up with one decent idea.

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