Let me guess, Dyson DC07. Did you get your hair cut? New glasses, maybe? Or maybe it’s that you look, I don’t know, happier somehow. Brighter. Cheerier. Are you seeing somebody new? Wait – did that good-looking Roomba from the southeast corner of the warehouse finally ask you out?

Oh, he didn’t? Sorry. He’s probably just the shy type. Give him time.

But it’s gotta be something. On the one hand, you look a lot like the Dyson DC07 we’ve all come to know and love. You remember, the one we sold here back in January. You’ve got the same 250 watts of suction power, the same HEPA filters that nab 99.97% of airborne particles 0.3 micrometers in diameter. You still boast a 14-foot wand and 31-foot power cable, leaving dirt nowhere to hide. And your clear debris bin is just as convenient and easy to empty as ever. Nothing out of order there. Dyson as usual.

But we can’t help feeling that there’s something a little different about you today. Hmm.

Well, anyway, it’s nice to see you again. Our floors always have time for your gentle brush bar and auto-adjusting height. Allah knows we could use a little cyclonic separation around here. Oh, hey, did I tell you about my appointment with the eye doctor the other day? I took one of those tests with all the little colored circles. Turns out I’m color-blind. Who knew?

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