Transcript: Oval Office Recording Tapes, May 13, 1971. 10:30 am.

RN: Listen, the point I’m trying to make is that you don’t [expletive deleted] go on national television and start talking about a [REDACTED] Digital Photo Converter like it was any other item. We all know people use these, uh, uh, uh, [REDACTED] Digital Photo Converters, we’re all weak, you know. But what do you think that tells kids? [Expletive deleted], John, you can’t use a [REDACTED] Digital Photo Converter and not face the consequences.

JE: Because it tells people they don’t have to settle.

RN: That’s right, and that creates unrest, and that feeds the freaks and Communists. These beatniks, they can’t be happy with a [expletive deleted] digital camera like a [expletive deleted] normal person, no. Look at that [expletive deleted] pinko [expletive deleted], what’s his name, the one who [REDACTED] back in [REDACTED]?

HK: I think you mean [REDACTED].

RN: [Expletive deleted] yeah, that guy. He’s the kind of guy who’d love a [REDACTED] Digital Photo Converter. You know, I had the boys at the NSA take a look at this thing for me. You know what’s in there? A 5 MP CMOS sensor. It’s the [expletive deleted] thing, too. You put in an old non-glossy picture and you get a digital copy. Works like lightning.

HK: You mean it basically makes a photo of a photo in no time at all.

RN: But digital. All digital. You can print it or mail it or whatever.

JE: We could’ve used that in [REDACTED].

RN: [Expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] yes, we could have! This [REDACTED] Digital Photo Converter would have changed everything! You know why the Popes lost power? You know why the Romans fell? Henry, you know this stuff, tell him. Tell John why.

HK: I believe it was due to changing market forces and inflationary spending.

RN: You’re a funny guy, Henry. A [expletive deleted] funny guy. They fell because of the [expletive deleted] [REDACTED]. And now those [expletive deleted] are after me. Well, they won’t get me like they got [REDACTED]. I’ve still got the pictures.

JE: So, sir, if I’m following you, we’ll be using the [REDACTED] Digital Photo Converter to start digitizing all those pictures of [REDACTED]?

RN: [Expletive deleted] right. [Expletive deleted] right. Hook that [expletive deleted] up to a USB port and get started. Those [expletive deleted] reporters. Nobody cared about the [REDACTED] before them. Those Communists are taking this country right out from under us.

HK: Mister President, I feel my time might be better spent in a dialogue with-

RN: Sit the [expletive deleted] down, Henry, and start sorting those photos. I gotta get this [REDACTED] Digital Photo Converter back to NASA before they miss it. And remember, what happens in this room stays in this room. Nobody says anything about how [REDACTED] made this machine. If anybody asks, it’s a plain old Digital Photo Converter without any brand name at all. That brand name never leaks, you got me?

HK: So how do we handle the warranty information at the bottom?

RN: Aw, [expletive deleted]

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