AAAAGGHHHH! That’s it! I can’t take it! If I have to listen to that sound for one more second I swear I’ll jam this stylus into my ear canal! BBRRRGGHHH it makes me so mad I could -

Oh. Hi. Uh, sorry. I was just using my DigiPro 5.5×4” Graphics Tablet to draw some pictures of Billy Ocean – not to brag, but I’m, like, the Internet’s third-most-popular Billy Ocean portraitist. Back in July, I had four unique visitors to my blog… in one day. That’s right.

So I thought this DigiPro 5.5×4” Graphics Tablet would be a good investment. It’s got 512 pressure levels, it’s compatible with Photoshop, and it has these hot spots that you can use for shortcuts to apps and menu commands. Not much of a brand name, and the aspect ratio is weird, but I figured I’d save the real high-end tablets for when I’m getting four unique visitors every day. All told, I couldn’t wait for my tablet to arrive.

Then I used it. It works fine. But the sound, dear Lord, the sound. The maddening sound. The stylus grinding and scraping on the tablet like the nails of the damned on a brimstone chalkboard while a hundred screeching baboons all play different violin concertos at the same time. Whoever “DigiPro” is, I can’t believe they would sell such a loud, irritating, aggravating, ear-splitting toxic abomination that just makes me want to scream like GGGAAAGGGHHH -

Sorry. Sorry. You know anybody who needs a graphics tablet? Preferably someone deaf?

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