My social anxiety was so bad, I’d get terrified to the point of nausea just ordering an espresso. Good thing I don’t have to do that anymore.

I’ve been told that some people actually enjoy hanging out there, but for me, the worst thing about coffee is coffeehouses. All those people, talking their people talk, posting flyers for their people-related activities, reading their People magazines. You ask me, people who need people are the creepiest people in the world.

Well, chock full o’ nuts to all that. I’m rockin’ my espresso drinks hermit-style these days thanks to the DeLonghi Pump Espresso Machine. Other machines I’ve tried take forever to warm up, are deafeningly loud when they’re running, and are a real pain to clean. The noise wasn’t so bad if it muffled the terrifying sounds of my neighbors, but otherwise using them was almost as stressful as that trip to the cafe I was trying to avoid.

Not the DeLonghi Pump Espresso Machine. Hot in seconds, a breeze to clean up, and not too hard on the ears, this pump-driven 15-bar machine pumps out (sorry) excellent crema, rich cappuccino froth, and of course, great espresso. Best of all, I don’t have to interface with any of the other denizens of meatspace to get my daily fix of- wait a minute, do I know you? Um, I, uh, have to go, so, yeah, I’ll, uh, bye.

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