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As a professional murderer, I’m always looking for new and practical ways to transport rifles and shotguns. The classic standby, of course, is the stringed instrument case. Classic it may be, but I find it problematic in a couple of key ways. First, it’s a conversation-starter. Carry a violin case around town for a while and see for yourself. People ask how long you’ve been playing, are you in town for a concert? Who are your favorite composers? Et cetera.
Not only am I disinclined to get chatting with the civilians on my way to and from a job, I don’t actually know anything about music. And I sure don’t want to start taking private lessons at my age just so I can talk music theory with some curious extrovert on the train and buttress the cover story for my firearm. Instrument cases are no good.
Ski bags aren’t bad, though they look a little conspicuous out of season, or on any job that takes you to a mountainless region.
For me, what’s worked the best is a golf bag. No one asks you about your golf bag. What could possibly be more boring than a conversation with a stranger about golf? Besides, even if some dumb sap does ask you about your game, you can brush him off easy, just smile and say “oh, don’t ask. I’m terrible with these things.”
Try that with a cello! A grown man doesn’t tote a cello around unless he can play the thing. But schlepping a bag of clubs, even though you’re completely hopeless on the links? That’s perfectly natural.
My favorite bags so far have come from the Daiwa line. There are plenty of colors to choose from—I like something inconspicuous. Y’know, black. Tan. They’re sturdy, lightweight nylon, so they’re not too bad to carry. The shoulder straps adjust to fit (I’m kind of a big guy) and are comfortably padded.
The first one I bought, I accidentally picked up a ladies’ model by mistake. What do I know from golf gear, anyway? I gave it to my girl Angie, who—I rue the day—decided since she had a bag, she’d take up the sport. She bought a set of women’s clubs, paid for a membership at a local course and started right in to hacking up the fairways. A couple months ago, she’d never set foot on a golf course. Now, just like that, she’s all of a sudden the most destructive turf ruiner in four counties.
These days, whenever I’m home between jobs, she makes me shoot a round with her. I had to get another bag, this one just for clubs! (When you’re out with a foursome and they all think you’re in “sales,” you don’t want to go reaching for your pitching wedge and accidentally pull out the Mossberg 590.) So that’s three golf bags I’ve bought, and until six weeks ago, I didn’t even golf.
Fortunately, I got a connection where I can get ‘em cheap.
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
Daiwa 12661 K-39 Black/Royal Blue Men’s Golf Stand Bag
Daiwa 13003 L-37 Navy Ladies Golf Stand Bag
Daiwa 13421 L-37 Black Ladies Golf Stand Bag
Daiwa 30001 Terrain Oranizer Black / Silver Men’s Cart Bag
Daiwa 50001 Black Soho Ladies Cart Bag
Daiwa 50173 Orange/Black Soho Ladies Cart Bag
Daiwa 50306 Stone/Green Soho Ladies Cart Bag
Daiwa 51001 Black Legacy Series Ladies Bag
Daiwa 51464 Brown/Khaki Legacy Series Ladies Bag
Daiwa 51476 White/Tan Legacy Series Ladies Bag
In the box:
| 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
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