Janet, you’ve been so tolerant of my juice box addiction, well, I wanted to do something nice for you.

See? A Cuisinart Stainless 6 Bottle Wine Cellar. It’s made to keep wine bottles at the proper temperature, and neatly out of sight until you need them. Which is really the part I think you’d like, since you have to keep telling our stockbroker friends that our “nephew” was just visiting.

Janet, I know it’s been hard on you, having a fiancee that can’t bear to drink anything that doesn’t have a sippy straw, but, starting today, that’s all going to change. Not overnight, of course, but I’m making forward steps. Like, I’m going to mix my juice box with merlot. It’ll ease me out of it, see? And with the Cuisinart Stainless 6 Bottle Wine Cellar there to be sure everything is perfect, be it red or white, and that nice steel door to hide my shame from others, at last, we can be happy together.

What? Leaving me? For a guy who only drinks from imported foil pouches? Janet… well, at least I can finish this merlot.

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