All in favor of collecting and backing-up all documents pertaining to any criminal activities, including all secret doomsday projects, on one easy-to-use hard drive, say “aye.”

What is it now, Stan? Can’t you see we’re about to make this thing official? Problem? No, I don’t see any problem with this plan. The only “problem” I see is our resident Chicken Little here at NefariCorp once again halting operations over his silly, paranoid “what-ifs.”

Stan, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you just how many projects this evil corporation has its dark tentacles involved in: mind control, weather control, cloning facilities, Operation: BattlePug™, the list goes on and on. And all of those projects creates an incredible paper trail of documents that not only shows, in minute detail, what they are and how they’re run, but points directly to all those who have or have ever had a hand in their operations. That is precisely why we need to put all of that information on one Clickfree 1TB Wireless Automatic Backup Hard Drive for safekeeping.

Because you see, Stan, if any of these projects encountered some sort of catastrophic failure, we’d need to recover information about them as quickly as possible so that we may continue our goals of total world domination. With this wireless hard drive, all we have to do is plug it into each computer that store our most important files, let the software install, plug it into a wall, and then allow the BackupLink™ technology to safely and securely suck up those files and collect them on its spacious one terabyte hard drive. Plus, if you or I got a new laptop, we could easy have all of the data we need on our orbital laser sent directly to our systems thanks to its Smart Computer Migration. And I won’t even go into not how handy that Music Manager’s going to be for raiding Jim’s iPod!

Sigh. Fine, Stan, if it makes you feel better, YES, there is a very tiny chance that the backup drive could, I guess, fall into the wrong hands and bring this company to its knees, destroying all our lives in its wake. There, I said it. Are you happy now? You are such a downer, Stan, I swear. This is why no one invites you to the Thursday after work Happy Hour, you know.

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