With a refurbished Canon ZR800 Mini Camcorder in your hand, you could have taped the Opening Ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics. Was that digital paper those people were standing on? Was that little girl really tied to a kite? Was Mr. Astronaut a hint of where China plans to go next and therefore a direct threat to the U.S. that could result in an entirely new type of arms race? You’d be able to answer those questions by using the DV Firewire port to connect to your computer and edit the footage.

There’s no DV tape included and it only has a 35x optical/1000x digital smooth zoom, but that’s entry-level, which means that’s not so bad overall. You don’t have to be in love with it to enjoy using it. Or at least, that’s the opinion of John Edwards, who admitted to having an affair and made a special point to mention it was never about love. Was he talking about the woman in question or the mainstream media who tried to keep his secret? Or both? Holding this Canon ZR800 Mini Camcorder you could have taped the look on their face when he said “Honey, they meant nothing to me” 2.0. gg, John, next map.

As though this wasn’t enough, there’s also a brand new war in Georgia. No, it’s not about black people voting or science in schools, we mean the Georgia that used to be allied with Russia, which is the country that is invading them. If you were there on the streets in the middle of the attack, you might find that the Canon ZR800 Mini Camcorder, which is small and has an Electronic Image Stabilizer, would be a great way to record shocking footage of tanks arriving. However, since a few thousand people have died already, it’s probably for the best that you’re not. Good thing we’ve got all those uncommitted troops ready to fight for freedom, right?

And that’s not all! The whole world is changing! The second housing crisis is forming, the dollar is still low, Iran is acting like a drunk at a high school party and we still don’t know if our next president is going to be any good, or even legally able to run. The only thing you can be sure of is that people will always want to watch this crap on YouTube. This Canon ZR800 Mini Camcorder could be your only source of income one day. And best of all, that LCD Display is reversible in case you need to shoot yourself. Who knows, right?

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