“…and thanks for coming! Well, Jack, I guess the party’s almost over. You’re the very last guest.”

“Yeah, Shirley. I guess I am. Heh. Hey, you’ve been on your feet all night, why not take a load off? Here, come sit by me on the couch.”

“Well… I guess I am kind of tired. Ooof. It does feel good to sit. Hey, Jack, thanks so much for coming to my party tonight. I know I always seem nervous around you at work and you might think I’m dumb but… well, it meant a lot to have you here.”

“Hey, I had a great time, Shirl, I really did. And don’t you worry, you’re always totally professional at work. I think you’re the bee’s knees, I really do. I also have to say, if you’ll excuse me for it… you really look great in that party dress.”

“Oh, ha ha, thank you. I guess I just wanted to show off a little tonight. I even got these new shoes. Do you like them?”

“Yeah. I do, they look great. That whole outfit looks great, in fact. I’m so glad I got to be here. Just think, if it wasn’t for this party, I never would have seen that great rack of yours!”

“WHAT?”

“Oh, come on, Shirley. Everyone noticed it. Out in the open like that, who’d miss it? Hey, I’m not complaining, a Butterfly 8 Bottle Wine Rack like that deserves to be seen. Man! If I had one like that I’d show it off too! But right there on the counter, the whole party long? You’re wild, Shirley! Wild!”

“Jack… oh my God! Is that how you think of me? Some kind of… show-off? Like I put my Butterfly 8 Bottle Wine Rack there on purpose?”

“Don’t play coy, Shirley. I have eyes. It wasn’t just one. It was a two pack. You put that two pack of Butterfly 8 Bottle Wine Racks where everyone could see them clearly. That walnut finish. That durable construction. It’s all we were looking at, all night long!”

“Jack, stop! Stop staring at them! You’re making me uncomfortable!”

“Aw, Shirley, c’mon. At least let me get a good look. I figure racks like that, it could hold wine or champagne, am I right? It’s amazing! So classy! Truly a great addition to any home!”

“I can’t believe this! Jack, I think I need to ask you to leave.”

“Not until I get a better look at those racks. Hey, are they as smooth as they look? They seem like they’d be really easy to assemble.”

“Jack! Jack! You put down my two pack of Butterfly 8 Bottle Wine Racks this instant! You’re getting fingerprints all over them!”

“Don’t fight it, Shirley. I’m thinking something like this, it could add a classic look to any kitchen, heck, any kitchen at all! Even right here on this counter!”

“Jack, I mean it! Stop it! Let them go! I don’t even use it for wines, I keep my wines on this top shelf! Do you hear me, Jack? My wines are up here! Up here, Jack! Where I’m pointing! Now stop looking at my racks!”

“Shirley, baby, I’m uncontrollable! All night long, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your two pack of Butterfly 8 Bottle Wine Racks! C’mon, baby, let me learn to be your sommelier!”

“Jack. Jack, stop it. Stop it right now. I’m sorry if we misunderstood each other, but I need you to leave. Immediately. Without so much as a glance at my Butterfly 8 Bottle Wine Racks.”

“Shirley, I… but I thought that… I’ll just… get my coat. I… I hope this doesn’t change our working relationship.”

“I’m sorry, Jack, but it will. After the way you pawed my Butterfly 8 Bottle Wine Racks tonight, I’m afraid I can no longer work at your strip club beside the truck stop near the Interstate. I’ll be in to pick up my tassels sometime next week. Try not to be there.”

“Good night, Shirley. The Pump N’ Flash won’t be the same without your winning smile. And I’m sorry. I’m… so, so sorry.”

“Good night, Jack. And good bye.”

Back to top