Spoken by Iron Chefs everywhere.

This is my blender. There are many like it, but this one is a refurbished Breville Ikon Hemisphere Blender. My blender is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My blender, without me, is useless. Without my blender, I am useless. I must blend my blender true. I must blend smoother than my neighbor who is trying to make better margaritas than me. I must blend smoothies before he does. I will.

My blender and myself know that what counts in this kitchen is not the soups we mix, the roar of our dice, nor the bread crumbs we make. We know that it is the blends that count. We will blend.

My blender is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its stainless steel base and its circular shredding blade. I will ever guard it against the ravages of chipping and damage as I will ever guard my fingers, my hands, my arms, and my toes against damage. I will keep my blender clean and ready We will become part of each other. We will. Before Matsuhisa, I swear this creed. My blender and myself are the defenders of my kitchen. We are the masters of our recipes. We are the saviors of my taste buds. So be it, until hunger is sated and there is no more guacamole, but satiety!

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