Boston is known for its chicken market, its cream pies and its acoustics

You might not think so, because they don’t call it telehearing, but it really does matter what your television sounds like. Don’t believe us? That’s good; you shouldn’t believe everything you read, especially on websites that are trying to sell you home electronics. But you can test this assertion for yourself. First, rent some movie that you’ve been wanting to see—TYLER PERRY’S MADEA GOES TO JAIL, for example. We really wanted to see that! Didn’t it look good? From the previews?

No?

OK, fine, Baron Von Snobbypants, then rent something that meets your stupid pretentious cinemaphile standards. WhatEVer.

Anyway, put it in the DVD player, but turn the sound all the way down. Then have a friend make up dialogue and funny voices for each character, as well as sound effects. (Here’s how you do breaking glass: “PKSSSHHH!”)

At first, this will be extremely entertaining, probably better than the real soundtrack. But after about five minutes, it will start to get really, really, really, really, really tedious, and you’ll start to wonder FIRST what the characters are actually saying, and SECOND why you are even friends with this dope. His improvised plotline makes almost no sense! He does a pretty good Madea voice though, you have to admit.

Thusly will you have proven that television is more than just something to waste time looking at—it’s also something to waste time listening to it.

These days it seems like almost everybody’s got a fancy-schmancy HDTV. (Who could have known, just a few short years ago, how many celebrities have such bad skin?) But fewer people take pains to make sure their entertainment system’s sound quality measures up to the image quality.

Boston Acoustics’ soundbar and wireless bass speaker work together to improve the A portion of your A/V experience, and you don’t have to be a DeVry Techincal Institute grad to set them up. One cable connects everything, and you can control it with whatever remote you already use. Plus, being wireless, the bass speaker can go wherever. Presto, like that you’re bumpin’ a hundred watts of system power. Sweeeeeet!

Of course, if you ever get overwhelmed by the sheer awesomosity of sound this big and clear, you can always turn it all the way down, call your pal to come over, and let him do Madea’s voice again. He really had her down.

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