Hey, what can I get you? Got it – one pousse-café, extra Midori, with a Jägermeister chaser.

Who? You mean that old guy at the end of the bar? Yeah, he’s in here every night. Sad story. He used to be the weed-growing king of the North End. Had a real extensive hydroponic setup in his four-car garage – kept one space open to park in, so people wouldn’t get suspicious. The stuff came out sparkling with crystals, and he made a pretty nice piece of change peddling it. Then one night he’s parking his Suburban in there, and for some reason – can’t imagine why, right? – he misjudges where the front wall of the garage is. Plows right into it, winds up knocking the whole structure over, and suddenly the whole neighborhood gets a box-seat view of his whole operation.

Well, of course, he did some time for that. After he came out of the joint he was never the same. They never are.

I kept telling him, you need a BOA 9150T Garage Laser Parking Sensor. It activates as soon as you pull into the garage, and the adjustable head shoots a laser beam to indicate the car’s position. Woulda been perfect. But no, he laughed it off. He didn’t need to worry about that, right? Now I guess I’m his pusher, instead of the other way around. And it all could’ve been avoided with one little BOA 9150T Garage Laser Parking Sensor. Funny how life works. So funny you could cry.

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