Head down, earbuds in, try not to get hit by a laser

My mother-in-law thought we were crazy. “You two are going to end up pulverized by a giant world-eating alien just like your Aunt Regina!” We’ve always wanted to live in Metro City, though, and when Jessica got that job offer at the Major Daily Newspaper, we were excited to move to where all the costumed action is.

For about the first three weeks, anyway.

When the errant meteorite hit the Volvo, we shrugged it off and started using public transportation. Then, our dog Scamp was eaten by the Crimson Cowl’s cyborg velociraptors. And around the fourth time some villain’s robot henchman gets plowed through your wall and into your living room without so much as a “Sorry, Citizens” from whatever hero happens to be on duty that day, you start to get a little annoyed.

I’m not complaining, really. That’s what cape insurance is for, after all. That’s the price you pay for living in the superhero capital of the world, I guess. You either pack your things and move to Wyoming, or you learn to adapt. It just takes a little adjusting.

So on the nights when the sky burns red with crisis or some silver-plated intergalactic herald is preaching doom and gloom all over the city, my wife and I plug the Blockade Noise Isolating Earbuds into our MP3 players. The triple flange design provides optimal noise protection from all the laser blasts and explosions that flood the city soundscape, allowing us to concentrate on the music or audiobook we’re listening to. When I need to take a trip down to the corner market and have to jump out of the way of an automobile being thrown by some hulking gamma-irradiated scientist, the comfortable fit of these earbuds means the music stays in my ears. The integrated volume control in the cord is great for when I want to drown out any superhero bellowing witty banter, too.

If anyone knows a good way of keeping some of these heroes from perching on the gargoyle outside our bedroom window at night, though, I’d love to hear it. I know they’re just doing their inner-monologue thing, but it gets kinda creepy.

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