It’s juiced like Giambi. It’s ramped up like Steven Hawking’s porch stairs. Its hematocrit levels are anomalously high. Like Nigel Tufnel’s custom amps, it goes up to eleven. What we’re saying, fellas and fillies, is that this video card is factory-overclocked by BFG to run faster right out of the box—without sacrificing safety and without putting the squeeze on your tender widdle wine of cwedit.

With dedicated gamers in mind, BFG took a powerful NVIDIA graphics processor, encrusted it with top-of-the-line components, wrapped it in a riddle, dipped it in a moonbeam, and tied it up with a sparkly rainbow ribbon of true love and spun sugar. We’re not engineers, so we may be mistaken about the exact recipe, but we’re sure of this: the sucker runs faster than a standard card. And it’s brand-new, so its lifetime warranty is in what Flavor Flav would call “full effect.”

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