KSHHHT Hey man, what’s going on? You gonna be here soon or what? KSHHHT

KSHHHT Uh, yeah. I’m here. I’ve been here for twenty minutes. Where are you? KSHHHT

KSHHHT Standing right at the front entrance, the main entrance. On Fifth Street. KSHHHT

KSHHHT Fifth Street? What? KSHHHT

KSHHHT Yeah, the main entrance. The Fifth Street entrance. KSHHHT

KSHHHT Uh…I don't think the Statue of Liberty is on Fifth Street. Where are you? KSHHHT

KSHHHT Wait, the Statue of Liberty? What? I’m at the Empire State Building, you numbskull! KSHHHT

KSHHHT The Empire State Building? I thought we were supposed to meet at the Statue of Liberty. KSHHHT

KSHHHT No, no! You were going to Olive Garden, I was going to the sex museum, and then we were supposed to meet at the Empire State Building and take Tony's Audio Tour! Remember? Ring any bells? KSHHHT

KSHHHT Oh, right…how was the sex museum? KSHHHT

KSHHHT Pretty hot. How was the Olive Garden? KSHHHT

KSHHHT Great. I had this pasta stuff with shrimp and – get this – mussels! They’re like these oyster-type things or something, I don’t know. Only in New York! Hey, are you sure you’re at the Empire State Building? Because I can hear you pretty clearly over the two-way radio. You must be close. Maybe you are at the Statue of Liberty. KSHHHT

KSHHHT I know where I am, you moron! You can hear me so well because our Bellsouth Pro FRS/GMRS Radios send out a strong two-watt signal for up to five miles of range, on eight GMRS and seven FRS channels. It’s the radios. I would know if I was at the Statue of $#x%x!@ Liberty, OK? I haven’t gotten on any flippin' boats in the last hour! Jesus... KSHHHT

KSHHHT Really? I don’t know, the radios only cost like thirteen bucks on Woot. I don’t think a thirteen-dollar set of radios would sound this good from so far away, especially when they also have voice activation, a big LCD, and so many other features. We must be closer than we think. KSHHHT

KSHHHT No! We are not! I’m telling you, I’m standing here looking at the Empire State Building! KSHHHT

KSHHHT Hmmm…well, maybe this isn’t the real Statue of Liberty. Hold on, let me ask somebody. KSHHHT

KSHHHT See, this is why you should’ve stayed in Kansas City. KSHHHT

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