Bag of Crap

Condition Crappy

Quantity Limit 1 per customer

Sold Out

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Bag of Crap LXXIV: Process of Elimination

Does not contain X, therefore...

Listen, we can't tell you what's going to be in your Bag o' Crap. But we can tell you what will definitely NOT be in there. By process of elimination there should only be about 12,000,154,768 possible items left.

Anyway, you're for sure NOT going to get:

A Microsoft Surface tablet. It's a Bag o' Crap, not a Bag o' Ssssshhh-the other word. Are we being a bit harsh on the not-yet-released Surface lately? Absolutely. Are we going to stop? No.
All the Evils of the world. We get a lot of calls from Wooters with Pandora Complexes, worried that if they open their Bags o' Crap, they will unleash a torrent of pure Evil into the world that cannot be returned from whence it came. Don't worry: See the bullet point above.
A puppy. We would send out some of these adorable little puppies that are crawling all over the office, but then how would we make our famous Baked Ziti with Meat Sauce?
The state of Iowa. Turns out their state constitution has a pretty ironbound not-to-be-given-away-by-a-deal-a-day-site clause.
The Plague. We learned our lesson after the infamous Bag o' Crap we shipped to Genoa in 1347. Boy was our face red (and covered in lesions).

Why have you even read this far? It's a Bag o' Crap, fool! Click click click!

Features

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v4.0

I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond ONE bag of some kind and THREE crappy items.

II. Thou shalt probably expect not to even get a Bag o’ Crap at all. We only have enough for about 10% of the people who want them. Thou art probably in that other 90%.

III. Thou shalt notice that “crap” is right there in the title. Thou shalt not complain when it turns out we were telling the truth.

IV. Thou wouldst probably be better off spending thine eight bucks on just about anything else.

V. Thou shalt be assured that Woot hath upgraded its servers and code to minimize errors and crashes. But thou shalt remind thyself that even if those servers did work perfectly, it would simply mean the BoC sold out earlier.

VI. Should thou fail in thy quest for crap, congratulations. Failure is the biggest crap of all.

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:: 37m 10.227s

Purchaser Experience

5% first woot
5% second woot
30% < 10 woots
28% < 25 woots
31% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

2% joined today
1% one week old
1% one month old
18% one year old
79% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

100% bought 1

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11
21%	1%	1%	1%	0%	0%	0%	0%	1%	3%	1%	1%	2%	1%	10%	19%	23%	6%	1%	1%	3%	1%	0%	1%

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun
2%	11%	30%	30%	20%	4%	2%

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

PRIME MEMBERS