“Yes, ladies and gentlemen, with the Back to Basics Nut Roaster, you can enjoy fresh glazed nuts in just ten minutes!”

“Steve? Steve, what are you doing up? It’s 3 AM.”

“I’m just showing the folks at home how the incredible Back to Basics Nut Roaster delivers all the great taste and nutrition of hot, roasted nuts – right on the stove-top!”

“Who? What folks? You’re alone.”

“That just means more roasted nuts for me! I’m talking almonds. I’m talking cashews. I’m talking walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts – the Back to Basics Nut Roaster does it all!”

“Steve, come back to bed.”

“The secret is the heavyweight, non-stick roasting pan. It conducts heat evenly, for a nice, thorough roast without scorching the nut-flesh.”

“Nut-flesh? Steve, I think you’re sleepwalking or crazy or something.”

“If it’s crazy to love the Back to Basics Nut Roaster, I don’t want to be sane! Here’s how to order.”

“Wait a minute. I see. I see. Steve, honey, I’m sorry, and I know it’s been hard on you, but we both know we can’t afford to get the cable turned back on.”

“I… I… I just miss it so much.”

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