To paraphrase the archaic advice given to new wives, the Audiovox DT85 Shuttle Combo knows how to be an angel in the kitchen and a devil on the road. Like all great duos, from Boswell and Johnson to Batman and Robin, these two pieces perfectly complement each other, their faculties and foibles intertwining into a potent, balanced synthesis.

Oh, you want to know what they actually do? OK, if you insist…the DT85 is a slim, portable DVD player with an 8.5” LCD screen. But it’s so much more than that. It can also play audio CDs, CD-Rs, CD-RWs, and MP3s burned to those media. It’s got the outputs you need to play DVDs on your TV, and the inputs you need to play console games on its LCD screen. And it comes with more accessories than Nicky Hilton: a headrest mounting bag, an ultra-slim remote, a rechargeable Lithium Polymer battery, a carrying bag, and sundry adapter cables for home, office, vehicle, or prison use.

Further down the ticket, the DKP102 docking station is the Lloyd Bentsen to the DT85’s Michael Dukakis. A couple of screws, some open space under a cabinet, and KA-BLAMM: the media revolution comes to your humble kitchen. But the DKP102 also enables your DT85 to receive TV and radio signals, and throws a built-in clock, cooking timer and voice recorder into the deal for good measure. Once you’ve got this combo mounted above your cutting board, you’ll wonder how you ever chopped celery without watching Wheel of Fortune (and vice versa). Just don’t blame us if you lose a finger.

Your kids giving you a severe case of “are we there yet?” psychosis? Are the adorable brats always trying to “help” with dinner? Hypnotize them with the flashing lights and vivid colors of their favorite disc-based entertainments. It’s safer and, over time, more economical than drugging them. Just don’t make them watch Ice Cube in Are We There Yet? or we’ll sic Family Services on you. No kid should have to go through that.

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