This is where it all begins.

No more sitting around daydreaming about it. You are taking a step towards your destiny as a music legend. This is the guitar you’ll keep forever, enshrining in a glass case on your wall of fame. One day a reporter from Rolling Stone will ask, “What’s with the Ashley Spectrum Custom Strat Electric Guitar? And did it come with that Mini Amp?”

“Yeah,” you’ll say, “that’s the guitar that started it all. Picked it up from Woot one day. The article will paint you as an artistic god, as you’ll be at the height of your popularity. They’ll talk about how all it took was a credit card and a knack for deal-a-day websites. Thousands of kids will be inspired to take up instruments of their own.

Two years later your sophomore effort will be met with a shrug from critics. The same reporter who basked in the glory of your genius won’t even return your calls for an interview about your recovery from drug addiction and various new leaves you’re turning.

Eventually, hack comedians on VH1 will ridicule the success you once enjoyed. The populace will decide you deserve it just for making one amazing album and not making 10 more. One amazing album more than any of those drooling idiots will ever make in all their pathetic lives combined.

You should probably get some lessons or something.

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