What I want is a headset that reduces the amount of foul-mouthed twelve year-olds flooding my ears with expletives I didn’t even know existed.

But until parents return to the days of washing out a child’s mouth with soap without fear of having that very same kid call 1-800-555-DADBEATSTHEHECKOUTOFME, I suppose this Altec Lansing Noise Reduction Headset with Microphone will do. The noise-rejecting microphone will keep the background noise minimized, while the closed ear-cup headphone will ensure I hear all about how I’m a nasty person of indeterminate origin who likes to have close relations with not only other people’s mother’s, but my own.

Boy, it sure is a good thing my generation spent so much time molding the video game industry into the juggernaut it is today, just so we could enjoy being called n00bs in our thirties and forties. Simply wonderful.

Back to top