Hello, I’m a monster. And I’m here to ask you not to buy an Aero Bed 05311 Overnighter Twin Air Mattress.

You see, an Aero Bed 05311 Overnighter Twin Air Mattress is designed to sit on the floor, offering comfort to an overnight guest. Maybe an adult, maybe a kid, could be when someone is moving or having a sleepover or anything. It goes right on the floor and fills up with a pump that takes four D cells. Right on the floor. See where this is going?

Look, as a monster, I need an “under the bed” to get things done. It’s my job. Without an “under the bed” I end up having to do extra work in a Stephen King novel, and that’s a horrible job for a monster. We don’t end up in “Shawshank Redemption” after all. You ever read “The Tommyknockers”? Whoo boy. But without a bed to hide under, that’s where I’m going to end up!

So save your money. There’s no need to own a Aero Bed 05311 Overnighter Twin Air Mattress. Instead, you should buy as many beds as possible. Ten, twenty, fifty even. Don’t think about how much beds cost, and how the Aero Bed 05311 Overnighter Twin Air Mattress is just as comfortable at a fraction of the price. Think about the jobs you’re creating in the monster sector. And thank you for your time.

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