Tell you what weighs heavy on on my mind these days: The high price of gas-o-line. See, I have to drive a lot for work, and every time the price goes up, my income gets squeezed a little tighter. I obsess about it, man. It’s enough to give an honest, hard-working guy an ulcer. I guess I’m lucky—being neither honest nor hard-working, I still have my stomach lining intact. But for how much longer?

On the weekends, I like to leave my petro-economic worries behind and relax with somethin’ fun. And friend, there isn’t very much more fun than speedin’ ‘round the yard with my Nitro Stadium remote-control truck.

What a liberating feeling, to hear this little troublemaker’s motor growl as I zip between the shrubberies! Four-wheel driving system! High-torque mini servos! Tuned exhaust! Rrrrmmmmnn! This baby’s quicker than the dickens! And you know why?

Because this mean little machine is no mere toy. It’s a potent little speed demon, packed with veni-vidi-vehicular power! It requires full adult supervision! It runs on a 38cc tank of pure—

—oh, crap.

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