Nah, I don’t want to play your video game. I’ll just sit here and read while you play, if that’s cool.

You need to go left. It’s to the right. The valve handle is on that bookshelf to the right. Oh, I see you already picked it up. That’s cool. You headed to the haunted schoolhouse or… The lighthouse? You can’t go to the lighthouse, yet, you don’t have the… Okay, okay. Geez. Sorry for trying to help. I’ll go back to my book, then, gosh.

Dude, what are you doing? You just passed up the secret cache of ammo in that hole in the tree. Did you not know it was there or something? I thought you said you’d played this game before. WHOA, hey, don’t get snippy at me because you suck at your game, dude. I’m not the one playing.

Look, didn’t I say I didn’t want to play? For your information, I’m reading a very interesting novel about a 3-Watt Cree LED Aluminum Flashlight. Uh, yeah, there is TOO a book like that. It follows the journey of the flashlight as its water and shock resistant hard anodized aluminum case is passed from person to person and how it changes the lives of everyone its 120 lumen beam shines on. Real high-brow stuff, not that I’d expect you to understand. You can’t even play your stupid game right, jerk.

Ugh, now see? You’ve woken the Sewer Dwellers with all your stumbling around looking for stuff. You’re going to die, you know. Look, you’re dying right now! Dude, just hand me the controller and I’ll beat it for you. I swear I’m never going to get any reading done if I have to hold your hand through this game.

Back to top