When the package arrives at your door, you won’t know which 12 Foot HDMI 1.3b Cable you’ve received. Once open, however, your fate is sealed.

“Hey! I got the Acoustic Research AP086N 12ft v1.3b HDMI Cable! It’s identical to the RCA version in every way except for the name! Both have a unique connector design for easier installation featuring molded grips and position indicator and 28 gauge oxygen-free copper conductors, but I just randomly got THIS one!”

“Harold, there’s something I need to tell you. I’m leaving you.”

“What?! You can’t be serious?”

“It’s time, Harold. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Let’s not make a scene, okay? I’m just going to take a few things to my mother’s house and…”

“Stacy, wait! Let’s talk for a second. I know I’ve been a jerk a lot of times, especially about the laundry and the dishes and punching your dad in the throat during political discussions, but you can’t just end it like this.”

“Harold, please! Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

“Look, Stacy, I know this sounds ridiculous, but it wasn’t until I opened that box that I realized just how much you really mean to me. So much, in fact, that I’m willing to change, really change.”

“Do you mean that?”

“I do. And just as soon as I use this cord to connect our HD audio and video components, I’m going to get started. I’ll take the yoga classes! I’ll find a better job! I’ll stop making you wear the chainmail bikini when the guys come over for D&D night!”

“Oh, Harold! I’m so happy!”

“And I’m going to keep making you happy, Stacy. Forever. I promise.”

*********

“Hey! I got the RCA DH12HH 12ft v1.3b HDMI Cable! It’s identical to the Acoustic Research version in every way except for the name! Both have corrosion resistant, precision made, gold-plated connectors and support high definition formats including 720P and 1080P, but I just randomly got THIS one!”

“Harold, there’s something I need to tell you. I’m leaving you.”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, sure, that’s fine.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, I mean, you’ve obviously been thinking about this for a long time. If you’re that unhappy, you should probably skedaddle. Live your dreams. Find someone who better compliments you. Whatever it is you want to do with your life.”

“You… you’re being awfully calm about all this.”

“Look, Stacy, I’m a grown man and set in my ways. I can’t be “fixed”, because I don’t feel that I’m broken. If I’m not the person you want to be with, maybe this is the best step for both of us, you know?”

“I suppose you’re right, Harold. That’s very mature of you.”

“Thank you, Stacy. Do you think you might let me keep the HDTV and other HD audio and video components, though? I mean, I did just buy this cord and all.”

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