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Fribble Dibble Dee, Flippa Dibble Dip Dippa: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

GREENBELT, Md. (UPI) -- NASA says its next science mission, to study two giant donuts of electrified gas known as plasma that surround Earth, will launch in August.

Scientists used the event as a chance to remind everyone: donuts have a long pointed snout, while the snout of doughnuts are wider and flat.

 

Donuts

 

 

LAS VEGAS (UPI) -- Las Vegas police said they arrested a man accused of breaking into a neighbor's home and attacking him with a guitar and a toilet bowl lid.

And in a related story, information on the new Tenacious D video has leaked!

FRESNO, Calif. (UPI) -- Raisins may provide the same workout boost as sports chews, a study funded by the California Raisin Marketing Board suggests.

The completely unbiased study also found that raisins made you smarter, sexier, and more likely to be invited to the very best parties with those rock stars you like the most.

 

Raisin

 

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (UPI) -- A Florida psychiatrist said the restaurant he opened in May is staffed by former drug addicts and psychiatric patients.

Or, in other words, it's just like every other restaurant.

GRAVESEND, England (UPI) -- Police in England said a 17-year-old boy was arrested for attempting to snatch the Olympic torch while it was being carried through his town.

According to custom, the boy will now be chained to a rock where eagles will come every day to devour his liver, which will then heal, so the process can begin again.

EL PASO, Texas (UPI) -- Television actor Sherman Hemsley has died at his home in El Paso, Texas, police told TMZ Tuesday. He was 74.

Theologians are unsure, but signs say the actor is most likely to have moved on up.

Donuts from Jilted Ballerina and Raisin from xcorex are used under a Creative Commons License