Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

After four years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, here are a bunch of ditties about that festive season ‘tis currently.

Christmas Eve 2008 – You can’t hear too many reminders: Christmastime is fire safety time.

Humbug sez – Remember our “Humbug” holiday wine from a couple years back? We paired it with this holiday whine.

All I Want For Xmas is a Subwoofer For My Car – We aired this piece of sonic fruitcake in the first year of our podcast’s existence. It holds up! By which we mean it sounded this dumb back then, too.

Honey, It’s Christmas Eve – Ah, Christmas Eve 2007! What a joyous occasion that was! Then again, we also had to hear this annoying tune, but you have to take the spicy with the mild, we suppose.

One Shopping Weekend ‘Til Xmas – We know lots of people who love shopping. But we hate it. Hate, hate, hate it. What we like is buying stuff.

Regret & Humiliation at the Office Party – Any similarities to actual persons, living or dead, is pretty weird. Because what would dead people be doing at an office Christmas party?

Poker in the Rear (the Gambler’s Christmas) – This is what people listen to the Woot podcast for, right? Gritty, sordid tales of heartache and loss.

ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, suckers! That’s CODE! And as your secret decoder ring will tell you, it's code for "suggest other depressing, cautionary, or angst-ridden topics for future Christmas Wootcasts in the discussion below."

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After four years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, grab hold of the common thread running through these nightmarish numbers, all about monsters and mayhem and things that go bump in the night.

Halloween Candy Safety PSA – It was Halloween in 2006 when our podcast team, moved by a spirit of charity, gave the children of America this warning not to swallow razor blades.

Devil’s Night Message: Don’t Burn Down The Neighborhood – We’ll never know how many would’ve-been firebugs changed their Devil’s Night plans after hearing this musical plea on October 30th, 2007. But it was probably zero.

The Shanty of Bluetooth (Halloween Version) – We’ve recorded so many versions of “The Shanty of Bluetooth,” it’s not surprising there’s one about Halloween. Can it be long before “Bluetooth Meets Abbott & Costello?”

Night of the Living Candy Fiends – How frightened we were, that Halloween night in 2008! When the candy bowl is empty, there’s no more terrifying sound than that of tiny knuckles on the front door.

Might Have Seen Some Monsters – The people demanded a podcast for Halloween, 2007, and we weren’t going to let our failure to think of a rhyme for “Dracula” stop us from giving them one.

Theme From BIG CALEB THUNDER, WOLFMAN NINJA OF HARLEM – Not technically a Halloween podcast, having aired in April of 2009, this one reminds us that werewolfism can strike at any time of year. In the original discussion thread, a poster asked, “Did the podcast singers all wear boy’s sized speedos to get that falsetto?” The answer is that we never give away our recording studio methods.

Battle On Monster Island – Ooh, a special unreleased recording! This one never came out as a Woot podcast, but used to be an Easter egg on the touchtone phone menu for our old office. There’s nothing fun on our current menu though, so don’t call now. (Unless you think pranking Dave is fun. Which we can see how you might.)

Happy Halloween!

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After over three and a half years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, grab hold of the common thread running through these moldy oldies, which are all about Ferdinand Magellan’s trip ‘round the globe. Well, mostly about that.

Ferdinand Magellan the Circumnavigator (Part 1) – The first time ever we heard this tune was back on April 19th of 2006, accompanying a Magellan brand GPS. If you had told us then that we would still be rehashing this dumb song now, we would have laughed in your face. Then excused ourselves to a private room and wept.

Ferdinand Magellan the Circumnavigator (Part 2) – Always on the lookout for ways to do less work, we revisited ol’ Ferdo in July of the same year.

Listener Mailbag – On July 17th of 2006, a caller rang our voicemail line to ask for the chords to this song so he could play it in front of schoolkids. It seemed like a profoundly bad idea to us, but sometimes people have to make their own mistakes or they’ll never learn.

Ferdinand Magellan the Circumnavigator (Part 3) – April 28th of 2008: Another Magellan GPS for sale, another trip ‘round these familiar chords for the Woot Podcast Team. Having apparently exhausted our knowledge of Freddy M.’s historic voyage, we went meta in the second verse.

Ferdinand Magellan the Circumnavigator (Part 4) – A sure sign of Magellan fatigue: This June 13th, 2008 podcast is a verse shorter than the songs that preceded it. If we don’t make landfall soon, the crew will surely mutiny.

Christopher Columbus – Earlier this month, we mixed it up a little, writing some non-Magellan lyrics to honor another explorer, Christopher Columbus. This podcast aired on the day that bears Chris’s name. (No, not “Chrismas,” you dimwit. Columbus Day.)

Doesn’t listening to all these old podcasts make you wish you could buy a Magellan GPS today? Well, click over to Sellout.Woot and see what kind of luck you’re in. You’re in the good kind, that’s what kind you’re in.

(Editor's Note: true Magellaholics will want to sing along to these alternate lyrics penned for the Excalibur Space Navigator this past July. And not just because the Editor wrote them.)

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After over three and a half years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, grab hold of the common thread running through these classic old-school jamz, which are all about Woot Cellars’ potent potables.

Theme for Rinfrescante – Rinfrescante was the first Woot Cellars offering ever! This number, which accompanied that sale, was recorded at the dawn of the Woot podcast era, in November of 2005. It shows off the podcast team’s facility with VERY CONVINCING accents.

Holiday Theme for Rinfrescante – About a month later, we reused the same song with new lyrics for a sale featuring Rinfrescante in a holiday gift pack. The clinking, pouring, gulping and belching sound effects were all created in our studio, using state-of-the-art tools like a bottle.

Theme for Monkey Prize – This silly bit of monkey business was only one part of the coordinated multi-media blitz that accompanied the Monkey Prize launch on December 4th, 2006. This video was the rest of it.

Theme for Humbug – In November of 2007, Woot Cellars dumped a new wine called “Humbug” all over the market. To mark the occasion (and to fulfill the responsibilities spelled out in their job description), the podcast team recorded this.

Beer & Wine! Wine & Beer! – This podcast didn’t accompany a Woot Cellars wine sale, but it sort of fit our theme anyway, so we included it. Maybe we shouldn’t have. It’s hard for us to say for sure because we’re soooo drunk right now.

This is Where You Face Boss Monster - All that brings us to today’s podcast, which heralds the release of a new Woot Cellars wine, Boss Monster! Boss Monster is available now! Supplies are limited! Secure servers are standing by! Sorry, no C.O.D.s!

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After almost four years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, grab hold of the common thread running through these four thrilling files of yesteryear, which are all about International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Talk Like A Pirate Day 2006 – How weird is it that TLAPD fell on a day when we were scheduled for a Bluetooth Shanty? Not that weird, apparently, because it happened again two years later.

Talk Like A Pirate Day 2007 – It seems like only 18 months ago when we recorded our first “Pirate Speech The Easy Way” podcast. But actually it was 24 months. Time flies when you’re performing repetitive tasks! This was Pirate Speech lesson one, “Small Talk.”

Talk Like A Pirate Day 2008 – Hey, another Bluetooth Shanty! How many of these things are there, anyway? Sometimes someone asks us to post a comprehensive link to them all. You can bet that’s someone who doesn’t realize there are literally dozens of versions; it’s crazy.

Talk Like A Pirate Day 2009 – Click here to get right up to date with today’s podcast thread! It’ll prep you for TLAPD tomorrow—it’s “Pirate Speech The Easy Way,” lesson two! In the interest of the environment, this podcast contains 75% recycled content.

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UPDATED with intro-free versions of the songs!

After over three and a half years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, grab hold of the common thread running through these five moldy oldies, which are all about everyone’s favorite day of the work-week.

Enh, It’s Friday; Screw It – We posted this love song to lethargy way back on August 17th, 2007. That makes it over one hundred Internet years old! We still regard the title/refrain as words to live by.

Almost the Weekend – Remember March 7th, 2008, when we sold a four-handset cordless phone? The world’s largest ferris wheel was still making its first turns in Singapore, Senator John McCain had just won enough delegates to secure the Republican nomination, and the whole web was rocking to this unforgettable ditty.

Do The Friday Fake Work Fakeout – On April 4th, 2008, Wootcast listeners had their eardrums blistered by this all-time classic. Don’t work now, y’all—the week’s almost done.

Friday, Baby – That business in the lyrics about November 14th, 2008 being the Woot podcast team leader’s birthday? That’s 100% true. And if your birthday falls on a Friday, federal labor laws permit you to blow off work. (That’s less true, but don’t tell our manager.)

End O’ Week Freakout – What? This one’s just from May 29th, 2009! That was only a few days ago! What kind of “Wootcast From the Past” is this?

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