Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

We're so spoiled today, with our virtual guitars and sixty-five button controllers. Kids today know that the box is just a way to carry the game, and the plain fonts and muted colors are marketing's way of saying "this game is a warrior poet, just like Batman, the Punisher, and you." But there was a time when video games were just dots. Yes, Virginia, there was a time when one had to use their imagination to make those lifeless dots into… well, this:

See, when all you've got is a pixel and a dream, the box art really matters. So take a second to visit Dangerous Business' flickr stream full of old Soviet-era videogame covers, and see what was going on behind the Iron Curtain. Anybody for Mup? What about Hy, Norogu?

(thanks to Joel Johnson's Twitter feed)

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Robots are made of metal, right? They're rigid, clanking machines made of gears and wires and whatnot, aren't they? And don't robots move via one slow, heavy footfall at a time? Well, if our pals at iRobot (and their pals at the Defense Department) have their way, robots are about to get a whole lot squishier. Ready or not, here comes the blobby, quivering, slithering Jambot:

"The focus of the project was a mobile platform that is completely squishy," says Chris Janes, Research Program Manager at iRobot. Their partner on the project, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), was looking for a drone "that's roughly the size of a softball but can squeeze through a hole the size of a quarter. Everything should be soft: the power system, the activation, everything should be soft."

It's all possible through the magic of "jamming", and not the kind you'd find going on at the guitar store...

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So, despite appearances, we know a little bit about marketing and advertising. After all, we have to come up five amazing ideas every single freaking day, and that doesn't even include finding those crazy flash games! So that's why we're always happy when we get to see a really lovely commercial.

This amazingly beautiful series of ads for Google Chrome shows just how nice your work can be when you're able to combine infinite money and endless creativity. Oh, and restraint. Because we probably would have blown the whole budget on cheeseburgers and tuned in a few doodles on a napkin. Well done, Google! We're now sufficiently ensnared in your viral.

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We've gotten bored with making fun of the gadgets we sell, so we're expanding our purview to include gadgets that don't even really exist yet. Check out this prototype wonder device and you tell us: Breakthrough or BS?

Great music transcends its time and place to take us somewhere else. Wouldn't it be even better if it also transcended gravity to take us a few inches above the record player? South Korean industrial designer Rhea Jeong thinks so. The Void LP player uses magnets to propel the LP carrier into the air above the dock, while a motorized red sphere containing the needle, amplifier, and speaker propels itself around the record. First things first: it looks amazing, especially if you live in a featureless white box, or the Apple Store.

But that little needle-ball will scratch up your vinyl something awful. And we'd hate to see what happens to the record if a fuse blows or somebody accidentally unplugs the base. Also, how good can a speaker that tiny actually sound? Put a wireless transmitter inside that little ball and the possibilities open up.

Rhea Jeong has come up with some great ideas, like the Hello Haptic textural flash cards for blind children. This concept is intriguing. But it's hard to see the Void as much more than something gorgeous to spruce up an end table. A white end table, of course.

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We all love the planet. We live here, how could we not? It's just that it's really really fun to go really really fast. Truthfully, we'd probably all give up those polluting fossil fuels tomorrow, as long as someone could offer us an alternative that let us do 120 on the interstate. Give us the speed we want and we'll shut up and be happy. Well, guess what? After the jump you'll find that we might just be a little bit closer to that happy day.

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Ever wanted an excuse to write off that iPhone you use for "business"? Well, here you go! The Square is a spiffy little device that hooks into your iPhone, or allegedly anything with an audio input jack, and lets you scan credit cards right into your device, securely. It's also got a sort of odd name for a tech device, since most people who spend a lot of time online are going to think of only one thing when they hear the name "Square". But maybe that's part of the viral phase.

The Square seems to be made specifically for places where having one stationary credit card machine would slow things down. The designers also donate a penny of every transaction to a cause of your choice, and that seems awfully nice. We're not sure how the whole thing works exactly (anybody want to figure out how we can make a dance remix out of the credit card data coming through the audio port?) but we're thinking it's a very cool idea.

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 Trent's selling his stuff today. I hear he's got some deals. From nin.com:

"We've been going through the NIN touring and studio rigs and are getting rid of a large selection of gear and equipment the band is no longer in need of. It's being listed on eBay here. We do not know which (if any) tour these items are from unless specified, nor can we get any items autographed, so please do not ask. Hundreds of items will be listed over the next several weeks such as guitars, keyboards, amplifiers, drums, staging, anvil cases, cables, rack/outboard gear, guitar effects, and pedal boards."

Banjitar before the one you serve
 

Poor guy. Having to go through all that old stuff, reliving decades of moody, angry memories as he chooses what stays and what goes. I felt the same way when I pawned my Sega Saturn for rent money. That's what happens when you give away your latest album for free on the internet, I guess.  Maybe he'll write a song about it.

Still, if you're a budding misunderstood musician dealing in the pain of a loneliness and incredible angst, these items could be like totems just waiting to endow you with their dark brooding power.  I mean, just look at that Banjitar in the picture above.  You can almost see it seething with depressive "YOU CAN'T LOVE ME BECAUSE I CAN'T LOVE MYSELF" energy. Plus, you get the added bonus of knowing there are people in the world that will want to touch you simply for owning some of this stuff, and that is not a bad power to have.  Kinda creepy, but not bad.

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Traditional brownie pans do the job they're asked to do - but what about consumers who prefer the tough, chewy edges of brownies? The makers of the All Edges Brownie Pan thought they had that demographic sewn up. Its zig-zaggy configuration ensured that every brownie was right up against that hot non-stick aluminum, for at least two chewy edges per brownie. But there's one thing they didn't count on: the Perfect Brownie kit. With a divider system kind of like an old metal ice-cube tray, this upstart pan bakes every brownie with four edges. Oh, it's on now.

All Edges Brownie Pan on the left, Perfect Brownie on the right. Mom and kid sold separately.
 

Not only does Perfect Brownie offer double the tooth-gnashing edginess and easy, pleasing square slices, but they also had the smarts to reach out to brownie consumers where they gather: in front of the TV.

Sorry, All Edges Brownie Pan. We're calling this one for Perfect Brownie. As for me, I like the soft middle brownies, so I'll stick with the old-school baking method. At least until somebody comes up with a No Edges Brownie Pan.

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What do you mean it's just more NPR? What circle of Hell have we wandered into?

It has come to this bureau's attention that some company called Livio has manufactured an NPR radio. It's got the little logo right there and it's even got a little NPR button so you can go right to "Car Talk" on Saturday morning when you stumble out of bed to attempt the world's most hungover oil change. Say, though, that you want to listen to, I dunno, anything else.

Tough. This thing only picks up NPR. (And a bunch of so-called Internet radio stations. You know, every time you use the term "Internet radio", Johnny Fever dies a little more.)

Granted, you get over 800 NPR stations, and if one of those is KCRW then it's worth whatever price they want to charge, but I have to take issue with selling a radio that only picks up one radio company's stations. This is not a radio. It's a light jazz/talk show CD player.

Don't get me wrong, I like NPR. Sometimes. But I also like chocolate chip cookies and you don't see me trying to eat nothing but chocolate chip cookies for the rest of my life again.

I really would love to be in the room the first time some unknowing sap scans the channels through 800 syndicated re-runs of "Prairie Home Companion," though.

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Intel says that in 10 years you're going to be surfing the web with no hands, which I guess is an improvement from one hand, but I wonder if controlling your web browser with brainwaves is really going to be an improvement.

For one thing, do you want your brain inextricably linked to Internet Explorer? Sure, you say you're better than IE, but someone out there will be using it, which means their brainpan is going to be vulnerable to virus attack, which means their Outlook address book is going to be used for some heinous spamming. And you don't want to imagine what a Denial of Service attack looks like when actual zombified people are used.

Clearing your cache, deleting cookies, and hiding your online information from loved ones is going to be a lot more intense, too. Now not only do you have to minimize the window when your wife walks in, but you have to hide the grand mal seizure that occurs as you delete 64 days' worth of browsing history.

Cell phones present another tricky question, mainly because every time my phone rings I think, "I should answer that. But I really don't want to talk to that jerk." Even supposing it's not my mom calling, how will my phone recognize the difference between the feeling that I should answer, but the impulse that I don't want to answer?

How are everyday applications going to run from your skull? Try using "one-click shopping" on any retail site when as soon as you think about it you've purchased whatever the hell you're looking at. People will be bankrupted within two hours of turning on their computers.

And we haven't even mentioned the massive stroke you'll surely suffer when the Woot servers go down during a Bag o' Crap.

Photo: No Brain by Flickr user Pierre-Olivier, used under a Creative Commons License.

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