Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

There's no timer in Shapely; take as long as you need to assemble the colored squares into the required Tetrissy shapes. But... every time you move a square, more pop up. Sometimes you can use this to your advantage. But... sometimes it spells doom, since you lose when the whole grid fills up. But... if you've earned enough points, you can buy various spells to alter the board. But... spells are expensive, so you can't rely on them every time you're in a jam. Shapely seems super-simple at first. But... enough buts. Just play it.

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Neo. Gandhi. George Washington. Genghis Khan. That freaking jerkface who won't get out of the freaking way so you can use freaking the gas pumps nearest to the freaking building when it's freaking ten below freaking zero. They all have the same philosophy. Stand still, plant your feet, and make the world move around you. That's why we're thinking that great minds and stubborn jerkfaces alike will enjoy Maze Tosser. Use your mouse to steer the maze around the little planet like circle. And don't feel bad if you can't get it right the first time. Just remember that Alexander the Great could have managed it perfectly before he was even twenty one. Hey, we're just saying.

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While testing Seconds of Madness, we noticed two things. The first was that the basic idea was kinda cool, like a cross between Roadblasters and Tony Hawk Pro Skater. But as the seconds went on, we started to get hit by things we couldn’t see. Computer cheating? Poor programming? Do we just suck that hard? Could be any number of things. So we turn to you, gentle readers. Can you make it all?? the??? way????

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Can’t get enough of puzzles that remove pre-existing geometric structures? Why is that? Those pre-existing geometric structures weren’t hurting anybody! What’s wrong with you, you jerkface? You’re probably drooling right now, thinking about playing Paradoxion Express. You’re probably happy to have another puzzle with music that takes itself way too seriously in which you can send those pre-existing geometric structures to an early grave. What happened to that sweet, innocent lover of life you once were? Where did that person go? Enjoy, we guess. At least pre-existing geometric solids don’t have families.

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You missed the bus. You got caught in the rain. Your boss yelled at you. You lost a client. Your kids dropped out of school, both at the same time. Your car got towed. Your basement flooded. And you didn’t get a Bag of Crap. Sometimes you just need to vent your frustrations and pretend that things are going your way. That’s why there’s Wrath. Now you can smite the whole day long and no one will be able to do a damn thing to stop you. Feel better? Yeah. Of course you do.

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We’ll admit, freely, that we found this thanks to Telegraph.co.uk. But we’re happy to admit that, because we had no idea a flash version of Doom even existed! So the second we learned of it, we knew we had to rush here and share it with all of you. After all, nobody reads British websites. They still spell color with a u!

But now that we know about this flash-based version of Doom, we might just have to pay a bit more attention to that uppity little island. Because this one really takes us back to the glorious childhood days when we didn’t have a care in the world and two floppy discs seemed like a lot. PS if you forgot: IDDQD.

(Oh, yeah, that same link also lets you play Hexen and Heretic too, if that’s your thing. Enjoy!)

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You're locked in a room. You see the door leading out, like so many others in so many other locked-room video games. It isn't even hard to reach. But you discover there's really only one way out of here: to hurl yourself onto giant spikes, or let something heavy crush you, or commit suicide in some other spectacularly gory way. That's the premise of Karoshi: Suicide Salaryman and its sequel Super Karoshi, where you can only beat each level by killing off your poor little guy and any other little guys with the misfortune to be in the vicinity. Designer Jesse Venbrux has hidden plenty of clever surprises in both games - when you seem to have reached the end, don't take the game's word for it.

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After a woot-off, we’re tired. Like, REALLY tired. Especially since this time, we had to take care of the new baby as well. So today, we’re taking it easy. We’re lounging on the new couches, flipping through the emails about how we suck because the right people didn’t get crap, and playing Red Remover.

It’s a nice little game in which you condemn red blocks to a unknown fate while making green blocks happy. Blue blocks are only there to help the green blocks and are willing to sacrifice themselves to make this happen. Really, you could write a whole sci-fi novel about this civilization!

Take notice we said “you”. Because we’re lounging today. Really, this blog post is just here to make it look like we’re working. Hey, anyone want to order pizza for lunch? Who’s got the company card?

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Although it's apparently just a demo of a more full-featured game in the works, Auditorium is an absorbing experience on its own. Direct little rays of light toward audio meters that turn them into sound. "Fill up" the meters with sound to move on to the next level. Simple, reasonably challenging, and they're looking for beta-testers. (As seen at Red Ferret.)

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Puzzle gaming meets robot family drama in Gateway II, a vaguely eerie tale of keypads, mirrors, and videotape. If anybody figures out how to get past the room with the telephone, I've reached the point where I'm ready to cheat. (As seen on Mochiland.)

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