Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

You've seen the worst, now what about the best? After forcing you to deal with our horrible theme song posts, we've decided to compile a collection looking at the good side of cartoon music! During our research, we found an easy way to tell the good from the bad (as you'll see after the jump). What's the secret? Narration!

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This lovely cartoon from qcjeph regarding win and fail is making the rounds right now, so some of you will have noticed it already. But we're certain that if you haven't seen it, you should. Especially if you're the sort of person who takes the Internet into the real world. (Link includes NSFW language, but then looking at web cartoons on the clock isn't very SFW either, is it?)

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The allure of the forbidden? A need to help a citizen that was wronged? A hunger for greater prey? Who knows what was going through the little cat's mind when it decided to take on a police officer? If you head over to WFTV's official web site, you'll be able to distract yourself from this WORST WOOT OFF EVER with a little kitten that knows it can't be stopped. Sorry about the commercial you'll have to watch first.

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Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

PASADENA, Calif. (UPI) -- NASA and the Microsoft Corp. say they've created the "Be a Martian" Web site where Internet users can have fun while advancing their knowledge of Mars.

Tragically, there are no included mini games featuring sailors fighting in a dance hall.

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Neo. Gandhi. George Washington. Genghis Khan. That freaking jerkface who won't get out of the freaking way so you can use freaking the gas pumps nearest to the freaking building when it's freaking ten below freaking zero. They all have the same philosophy. Stand still, plant your feet, and make the world move around you. That's why we're thinking that great minds and stubborn jerkfaces alike will enjoy Maze Tosser. Use your mouse to steer the maze around the little planet like circle. And don't feel bad if you can't get it right the first time. Just remember that Alexander the Great could have managed it perfectly before he was even twenty one. Hey, we're just saying.

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There’s a little kid in all of us. And that kid is SO happy to finally be old enough to buy beer, guns, and dirty magazines. But, still, there are times when that sort of thing is just not socially acceptable. So when you need that kid to stay out of trouble, try the The Marvel Comics Create Your Own Comic Generator as a distraction. Check it out, here’s the one we prepared in advance:

Think you can do better? We think so too. Get to work, and don’t forget to share with us in the comments below. We want to read YOUR work for a change! (Standard forum etiquette still applies, of course.)

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While testing Seconds of Madness, we noticed two things. The first was that the basic idea was kinda cool, like a cross between Roadblasters and Tony Hawk Pro Skater. But as the seconds went on, we started to get hit by things we couldn’t see. Computer cheating? Poor programming? Do we just suck that hard? Could be any number of things. So we turn to you, gentle readers. Can you make it all?? the??? way????

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A no-hitter has got to be one of the greatest feelings in the world. We say “has got to be” because we’ve never done it. We’re just not that good. But a few players have managed it, and it always makes the news, because it’s just so rare. Even if you don’t like the game, you still have to respect the achievement.

And that’s why everybody who knows anything about baseball will eventually hear the story about Dock Ellis. The story that starts with “forgot there was a game that day and took LSD” and ends with “I only remember bits and pieces but know I was pitching to Richard Nixon”. Confused? Well, here’s a lovely video that makes it all clear.

Oh, sorry. Remember, kids. Winners don’t use drugs.

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As everyone has learned from spending two months playing “Beatles: Rock Band” non-stop, there was no group quite like the Fab Four. As they moved like a Jedi lightsaber through the Sith tummy that was the music industry, things that people had always taken for granted were changed forever. Records were shattered, budgets were increased, the hits kept coming and no one ever missed a bonus! And then, instantly, it was over. And things started to go back to normal.

Of course, the music industry was having none of that crap. And we’re betting that’s why there were so many absolutely terrible songs in the era just after The Beatles vanished forever. Maybe you’re too young to remember. Maybe you’ve blissfully forgotten. Well, don’t you worry! We’re perfectly comfortable rooting about in the world of remainders! And that’s the sort of thing you’ll find after the jump. On the other side, you’ll be enjoying a blast of really bad, really terrible, incredibly, evilly… hey, you know what? You probably should just stop reading now.

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Can’t get enough of puzzles that remove pre-existing geometric structures? Why is that? Those pre-existing geometric structures weren’t hurting anybody! What’s wrong with you, you jerkface? You’re probably drooling right now, thinking about playing Paradoxion Express. You’re probably happy to have another puzzle with music that takes itself way too seriously in which you can send those pre-existing geometric structures to an early grave. What happened to that sweet, innocent lover of life you once were? Where did that person go? Enjoy, we guess. At least pre-existing geometric solids don’t have families.

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