Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

We're almost home from CES, but we're really exhausted. So please forgive us, and enjoy this collection of classic weavings while we sleep it off. We'll be back next week!

BOULDER, Colo. ()—A biotech firm is teaming with the University of Colorado at Boulder to use pythons as a model for new ways to treat heart disease.

The snakes will be specially trained, then miniaturized and shot into the bloodstream, where they will have just one hour to complete their Impythoble Voyage.

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Now that Mark McGwire has admitted he used steroids when breaking the home-run record in 1998, we've been inspired by his gift for stating the obvious. Here are ten Woot confessions that you'll be less-than-astonished by.

• Woot admits they sell things for more money than they bought them for.
• Woot writers confess that sometimes they write about products without knowing how they work.
• Kids.Woot reveals the site is actually run by adults.
• Wooters admit that sometimes they like the products we sell.
• Wine.Woot director concedes that wine is intoxicating.
• Derby voters come clean about their fixation on bunnies.
• SmartPost admits not being all that fast sometimes.
• Deals.Woot concedes that it's nothing but a popularity contest.
• Woot CES booth visitors admit to only being there for the monkeys.
• Woot confesses that on very rare occasions, contents of bag cannot be classified as crap.

OK, we've shown you ours, now you show me yours. What are your true but unsurprising Woot Confessions?

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We're at CES this week, so we don't have a lot of time to keep up with the news. Please enjoy this collection of classic weavings to hold you over. We'll be back soon!

LOS ANGELES (UPI)—Ukrainian filmmaker Vadim Perelman reportedly is in talks to develop a remake of the 1982 horror classic “Poltergeist.”

To save money on film, the producers have asked Perelman to tape over a documentary about an old Indian burial mound.

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Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

NAPLES, Italy (UPI) -- Orchids that use sexual trickery to lure insects are more efficient in the transfer of pollen to another orchid, scientists in Italy said.

Scientists added that the orchids which are kind, honest and direct about themselves are considered "sweet" and "almost like a brother" to the other orchids.

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Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

HOUSTON (UPI) -- U.S. medical researchers say they've developed an experimental cancer drug that kills breast tumor cells that survive chemotherapy.

The FDA says that, under medical rating guidelines, the tumor killing is perfectly okay, but the breast part may require that the drug be rated R.

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Christmas music: love it or hate it, you can't escape it. Rock 'n' rollers have been trying to make peace with the season since "Jingle Bell Rock", with decidedly mixed results. But who does it better, us Yanks or the Brits? Sounds like it's time for a no-holds-barred, hell-bent-for-eggnog throwdown between Merrie Olde England and the upstart colonies...

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Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand (UPI) -- New Zealand authorities said a German tourist pleaded guilty to smuggling geckos and skinks in his underwear.

Police say they became suspicious when the man said he was not just happy to see them.

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You know those links that you discover and you just see the name and have no idea what you're going to find and then you click through blindly and then in about thirty seconds you can't stop laughing and everyone in the office comes over to see what you're laughing at and then they can't stop laughing and pretty soon your boss comes over to see why no one is working and watches for a few minutes and then also starts laughing and for a minute, everybody is happy and forgets how lousy it is to be at work?

We think this is one of those links. We will tell you that it's a video and you'll need sound to appreciate it. Beyond that, we'll let you discover it for yourself. (Some brief NSFW language shown onscreen, not spoken.)

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Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

YORK, England (UPI) -- British and African scientists say they have discovered a new species of chameleon in Tanzania in Eastern Africa.

The scientists say they will release their full findings as soon as they figure out where the chameleon is right now.

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It's fun to peruse old copies of Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, Modern Mechanix, and similar magazines and laugh at the naivety of 1950s science. Everything was all, "Rockets! Space! Lasers! Together at last, on your toaster!" Really, it was a recipe for an inevitable letdown when jet-packs failed to show up by 1970. But sometimes Popular Mechanics just had bad ideas. Like, crazy, poorly-thought-out contraptions and scenarios that, even in the '50s, made no damn sense whatsoever...

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